Parenting and Power Dynamics–think about where you sit

Here’s some great advice from parenting wise-man Bruce Fieler on seating arrangements when you and your partner need to discuss parenting differences: “My wife and I even changed where we have difficult conversations, moving from my office, where I was sitting in the `power position’ with her six inches lower, to a window seat in our bedroom, where we can be side by side at the same level.” Shifting the power dynamics so that neither partner is sending, or receiving, the message that one of you expects to dominate the discussion and the decisions you reach is a great way to start. Especially if you’re about to have what I call a “what WERE we thinking?” meeting where you go over (or “process” as the psychologists say) a parenting mishap. Feiler’s newest book, The Secrets of Happy Familiesdetails how he and his wife field-tested advice on team-building and problem-solving from such unexpected sources–for kid-raising tips–as the Green Berets and Google. I’d love to hear how you keep the discussion even-handed when you disagree about what’s best for your kids.

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