What Makes Love Last

In their latest collaboration, Dr. John Gottman and Nan Silver offer surprising findings and advice on the characteristic that is at the heart of all relationships: Trust. What Makes Love Last? reveals the varied and unexpected ways that couples unwittingly betray each other and shows them how to avoid these traps. Based on research at Dr. Gottman’s famous Love Lab at the University of Washington in Seattle, the book demonstrates how couples can bolster their trust level and avoid the “Roach Motel for Lovers.” It describes how seemingly small events, or “sliding door moments,” can become pivotal points between a couple, and lead either to more emotional connection or to discontent. What Makes Love Last? guides couples through an empirically tested, trust-building program that will let them repair and maintain a romantic relationship.

“Gottman and Silver (coauthors of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work) bring the quantitative, physiological metrics-based methods pioneered in Gottman’s “Love Lab” at the University of Washington to the topics of trust, betrayal, and infidelity. In an easy-to-understand format full of anecdotes, imaginary dialogues, and analogies to game theory, Gottman explains lack of trust in a relationship as a deficit of attunement, positing that once the body becomes “flooded” by physiological stress reactions, attempts to repair communication fail. He explains betrayal as a logical outcome of a pattern in which partners fail to communicate their discontent, one partner becomes untrustworthy and makes negative comparisons between the partner and some other person or situation, and the injured partner seeks solace elsewhere. Though clear that there are various types of betrayal (e.g., absenteeism, making coalitions against a partner, and lying), much of the book covers communicating about and renewing sexuality as both a method for and a result of better attunement between partners. The practical tools to evaluate current relationships and step-by-step methods for avoiding betrayal, repairing relationships heading toward crisis, or healing a relationship after a crisis will be useful to couples who want to look honestly at healing chronic hurts and improving the state of their relationship, and are ready for a system to help them.”
-Publishers Weekly“Instructional and enlightening…” -Kirkus Reviews
Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

This is the definitive, bestselling guide to successful relationships. Packed with practical questionnaires and exercises, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the ultimate resource for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential. It is based on Dr. Gottman’s years of research during which he has observed the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail and revolutionized the study of relationships..

“An eminently practical guide to an emotionally intelligent — and long-lasting — marriage.”
– Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence“Twenty-five years of landmark marital research.” – USA Today“Offers something every relationship can benefit from.” – Seattle Post-Intelligencer“Astonishing new research!” – Woman’s World

“Debunks many myths about divorce . . . reveals surprising facts . . . enlightening!”
– Amazon.com

Rules for Parents, Nan Silver
Rules for Parentsis based on the principle that parents don’t need to be perfect, just loving and strong. Whether your goal is to instill independence or a love of learning, to tame a tantrum or your own impatience, Rules for Parents offers quick and sensible tactics that really work. Filled with smart (and sometimes surprising) strategies for giving children from infancy to kindergarten a strong start — this warm and loving guide will help parents and kids “play by the rules.”..and win.

“When Nan Silver (coauthor of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work) whipped herself into a prenatal panic (which goes something like, “What was I thinking? How can I possibly take care of this baby?), she ditched her stack of baby-care books and called her mother. Mom’s reassuring words provided the backbone–and rule number 1–for this hilarious but highly practical guide to commonsense parenting: “You Don’t Have to Be Perfect.” Readers will find compassion and candor in Silver’s nine engaging chapters, which offer practical, savvy advice on discipline, siblings, age-appropriate communication, and upholding the parental “couple.” Her premise is simple: neither a tyrant nor a doormat be. Drawing from her professional life as a journalist and her personal life as a mother, Silver compiles a sensible list of “rules” that blend both old and new parenting techniques. …Silver maintains a witty, conversational tone that makes for a quick and memorable read. This Mommy could do a mean stand-up routine.”
—Liane Thomas, Amazon.com
Why Marriages Succeed or Fail, Nan Silver
This breakthrough book guides you through a series of self-tests designed to help you determine what kind of marriage you have, where your strengths and weaknesses are, and what specific actions you can take to help your marriage.

“An upbeat, easy-to-follow manual, based on research into the dynamics of married couples.”

—Kirkus Reviews

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